My Dog Is Guarding Our Satelite Signal For The Grey Gardens Premiere

"If You Seek A Beautiful Pit Bull, Look On The Hot Tub Cover"




"Michigan's State Motto is: "If you seek a beautiful peninsula, look around you".

Learning that, as a third grader, I believe even then, I thought to myself, "What the eff is that supposed to mean?"

As children we all see and hear things which are beyond our understanding. Our mother had a knack for giving us opportunities to reach deeply into our imaginations. As we'd pass the heavily forested Mio Mountain, on our way to the family cabin, she'd always say that the Indians used to play there. I could just picture the young children in the cool shaded Jack Pines, running and playing just as I loved to do. It was fuel for the imagination as well as the soul. Many times I still look around wondering what walked the ground before me. Although sometimes it is not that difficult to tell. If I find dog shit, I can kind of figure it was one of the dogs.

When I was on crutches after hip surgery, I went to Sears and had them load a new dryer on the pick up truck. Getting home, and with no way to unload it, I called one of my buds at the Gas Company. Before I knew it I had about 6 Gas Company trucks at my house.

Outside of my fence, along the driveway, I saw the bane of every gasman's existence, a big pile of dog shit. A present from one of the neighbor dogs, as my dogs are all fenced. I pointed it out to my coworkers, as a courtesy and because I didn't want them tracking it into the house.

But, there always has to be ONE. Little Zimmy had to step in it. So while everyone else took the dryer into the house and hooked it up, I was outside at the garden hose trying to clean up Zimmy's shoes.

The conversation went like this:

Little Z: "Was this from one of your dogs?"

Me: "No Zimmy, this must have been from a neighbor's dog. My dogs are fenced".

Little Z: "Oh, do you know what kind of dog it was?" (I guess he was just trying to be sociable.)

Me: No, Z, I'll have to pay closer attention. If I'd known it was there, I would have picked up it before you guys came.

Little Z: "Looks like a pretty big dog."

OK, at that point I gave up being polite. Sometimes it's better to bust stupidity to the rest of the guys and let them handle it from there. And believe me, busted he was. It was hilarious!

As far as I know, my gasmen still analyze dog shit for breed specificity.

Two nice aerial shots of Mio, Michigan




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